Thursday, May 8, 2014

10 Things Not to Say to A Parent of an Autistic Child

I wish I had an emergency shut off button. I would hit it every time someone started to say something stupid to me about autism.

Having a child with autism is hard enough especially when they are young. Parents and the child are trying to find their way to a happier existence, learning to communicate, learning to avoid triggers, dealing with meltdowns, learning what works best and what doesn't. Doing simple things can be extremely hard for both the parents and the child. They do not need careless comments thrown at them.

Here is my top 10 list of things not to say to a parent with autism. These things either made my blood boil or caused an argument.

  1. He just needs some discipline. This is wrong on so many levels, it has nothing to do with discipline. Who needs discipline is the person saying it!
  2. He needs to socialize more. Duh that is a part of autism, they have trouble socializing. Socializing can cause great anxiety for the child and you can not force them.
  3. They will grow out of it. What? I wish that was true, we would all be happy campers in a few years then. Thanks for letting me know Dr. know it all.
  4. Do you think the shots caused it? This is one that I wish I had the emergency shut off button for! Its like politics and religion do not fall into the trap of answering it, no matter what side you are on.
  5. If he was my kid I would (insert word). If he was your kid you would do what was best for your child and your family, which is different for everyone. Get off your high horse and don't judge!
  6. Why doesn't he answer me? I don't know, maybe he doesn't like you. I don't want to answer you either.
  7. Does your kid have to (insert word). Yes they do! Do you think they want to act different? Why do you have to be such an ass! (sorry for the cussing but it really pisses me off)
  8. It's the parents fault. OK genius then we should just throw every parent in jail for producing a child with autism. Then you try to raise them if you think you can do better.
  9. They don't even know you are there. I wish I didn't know you were there! Of course they know we are here.They know everything that is going on, probably better than you. They just don't interact.
  10. They will never (insert word). How would you like it if I told you your child will never do something? Never tell me my child won't do something, I might just have to punch you!
Well there it is. I am sure there are many other stupid things people say. If you have any please feel free to comment, this is a great time to get it off your chest.


  1. Replies
    1. Along with many more I didn't list.

  2. I hate when they ask what my son's special "thing" is. Yeah you know cause they are all JUST LIKE rain man. Go ahead throw down some toothpicks...

    1. I relate it to when someone dies, they don't know what to say. They give you the awkward look and say "well they are in a better place now." it's like that. Thanks for your comment!