Monday, December 6, 2010

Tired

    I am tired, since Sierra was diagnosed I have been going like a freight train, and now it seems like I am running out of steam!  My 9 month old does not sleep through the night ever, the constant demands and stress of an autistic child, the rest of my motherly duties, the stress from last weeks death in the family, and the trip to Florida, has really taken a toll on me.

    Maybe it is my age, I am 43.  Being an older mother helps in many ways except in the energy department.  I haven't been eating right, when I don't get enough sleep I try to compensate by eating junk food.  I have a couple of things causing mental stress at home as well, that I won't get into.  We also had to get rid of our dog of 9 years, he was not being nice to the young children, and we think Hannah is allergic to him.  Whatever it is, I need a break!

    I just want to run away for a few days, just me, even if it is to a local hotel to sleep for two days!  But How?  I have no one that could take care of my children for that long, my mother is too old, my husband can't handle it, and my older daughters have work or school.  I have never left Sierra with anyone other than close family, and she usually doesn't do well in that situation anyway, especially overnight.

    I remember hearing about "Mommy's little helper" pills, I think they were Valiums, I understand why the mothers took them now.

13 comments:

  1. Oh I know this so well. I have 16 months between my last two children so when HRH was diagnosed my daughter was 7 months old and we had been trying to get a diagnosis for 5 months at that stage. My daughter is 21 months old now, HRH is 3 and it has gotten easier now that she is more independent. Big hugs. Jen

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  2. I am soooo with you. I eat junk food all the time to make up for whatever it is I am missing. My 3 year old son is autistic and I never get a moment to my self. I would love 2 nights at a hotel with room service! But I agree that nobody can take care of them like we can. I also have 2 other kids which adds to the headaches.
    along with my sons autism he is deaf in one ear, blind in one eye, and has serious speech delays.
    Big hugs to you!

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  3. We should start a mommy weekend getaway for parents of autistic children, thanks for the hug!

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  4. I can so relate.. i have had a tough 2 weeks! i have a 7 year old who has autism & a 5 years old who is adhd & a single mom. My back went out last week & its still healing my house looks like a tornado went through it. dishes stacked up because i cant stand very long. everything on the floor is out of my reach! ouch! to top it all off one of the boys now has the stomach flu!! I missed so much work & i dont get any benifits so we are goin to be hurting for the rest of this month even with the holidays. I need a break so badly! But as we mothers do we just keep going we find everyway to just keep moving forward. Stay srong mothers & families! I have no account so my name is Jenny Albert on facebook.

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  5. Wow, you need a break more than me! Hang in there!

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  6. So many of us can empathize! It sounds like you REALLY need to plan it. If you explain the need, wouldn't your daughters or husband understand? Even if you have to wait for them to work out their schedules to accomodate, you'd have something to look forward to and that thought will keep you going until the time comes.

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  7. You do need a break and maybe there is a way that someone, anyone in your family, could help out for at least one night so that you could get away. I know what you mean because I am a single mom of an 8 year old autistic son who was diagnosed at 18 months so we've been at it for awhile. (You commented on my blog from Blog Gems) And I haven't had any help for years except for when he is in school. But the summers are tough since there's not much to do on such a tight budget. I wish you luck and I will be back to visit to see how you are doing.

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  8. Boy can I relate! I have even brought up the valium thing...understanding how women got hooked on it in the '70's. I have said many times that I feel I have aged five years within the past year and a half. It's got to get better, right?!

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  9. Valium... yeah, I could use some of those too sometimes. Hope it gets better soon. Definitely should arrange for an autistic family retreat. LOL

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  10. @dluvscoke - I have been voicing it, I guess not loud enough. I have always been able to handle everything, so they think I will get over this as well.

    @Lora - I joined your blog as well and I think all us parents need a break!

    @ChrisP m - I have aged like crazy since my youngest was born!

    @4timesblessed - How did those mothers get the valium, my doctor doesn't give me anything like that. He tells me to eat right, exercise, and get some sleep, HA Yeah Right! Need the retreat!

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  11. I dont know how it works over there but could you have a carers assessment and see if you are eligable for any support??

    More hugs.

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  12. Maybe I should look into it. Thanks

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