Sunday, November 28, 2010

Sorry I Haven't Called But We Moved To Another World


  
 Sorry I haven't called, but we moved to another world, the world of autism.

We started to move slowly into that world called autism back when Sierra was around a year old, that is when she started to get worse.  We stopped going to restaurants first, then we stopped going to the stores with her, then we couldn't go to the playgrounds, and so on.  I think our final departure from our old world was when we had her evaluated and it was official that she had autism. We canceled our plans to go to my nephews wedding and our plans to go visit family for Christmas that year and moved to our new world.

    We didn't want to move here, but how do you explain to your friends why your child is banging their head on their floor, or how do you explain why it is not a good idea for your family to come to your house because it upsets their routine.  How do you tell your Sister your sorry for your child screaming through your nephews wedding vows, or throwing the dishes on the floor to see if they spin at the reception, or explaining why she is having a meltdown on the dance floor.  How do you explain to another mother at the playground that your child doesn't want to play with their child and will cry if they come too close, or why your child won't move from in front of the slide because they have to clean all the sand off of it.  How do you tell your family why your child stands at the dinner table or why she can't eat the chicken because it is stringy.  Finally how many times will I have to tell someone that it has nothing to do with them why my child won't look at them, or why she cries if they talk to her.  That is why we moved away to another world, to not have to do those things.

    Sierra has gotten a lot better since we moved away and we have been visiting the old world quite often now.  We don't have the problems at the park anymore and she is very well behaved at the stores most of the time.  We can go to kid friendly restaurants, and she does sit down, but still doesn't like stringy chicken.  Sierra has come a long way socially, but I don't think she will do good at a large gathering like a wedding.  We even tried taking her to the movies to see Toy Story 3 and she did quite well except she was definitely too loud, but so were other kids.

    Yes, the old world is nice to visit, but I don't know if we will ever move back, we have found lots of new things to do in our new world.  You know how it is, you move away and you miss your old home but you make new friends and a new life, and you can't ever imagine moving back.  This is our home now.

9 comments:

  1. This says it perfectly. My son started to regress at about 12 months old so we slowly, without really realising, were moving along with you. Now we visit the old world occasionally, but on OUR and HIS terms, not on anybody elses and I don't explain why anymore. If people don't want to understand that my child comes first then so be it! Really enjoyed this, it touched me:) Jen

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  2. I guess we are neighbors. Thanks for the comment and I'll see you around town!

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  3. I too... found this very touching and hold it dear to my heart. This was an amazing write. It was so true because in the beginning you don't know how to deal with it and so you just avoid the typical situations and with time some of them will come back. While I DO NOT bring my son into Walmart or the mall very often I can bring him into the gas station and small convenience stores. I have decided that unless it is unavoidable I choose not to have large amounts of people over for dinner. That was an adjustment cause I always invite family but this year Thanksgiving was not as stressful which was wonderful. Seems as if we are neighbors as well.

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  4. We can have a block party with all our neighbors! Thanks for your comment:)

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  5. This is our life. My son is 13 almost 14. Life had been good for so many years. He was growing into a wonderful young man. Then about 6 mo ago we started to vist the old world on and off. I hate it. I don't know how to help him and he says he can't control it. I feel like we are losing control.

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  6. I posted the above commit
    I feel so alone and helpless. I can't imagine how it must make my son feel.

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  7. Don't feel alone there are many people in our world, you just have to connect to them. Ages 13 and 14 are very hard for neurotypical children much less our children, it might just be puberty making it worse.

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  8. I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this post. I'm a father to 3 autistic boys and I can relate. Writing and sharing your story both good and bad is an amazing gift to give to the community. You spread awareness and make the world a better place for your daughter and my kids. Thanks

    Rob
    www.lostandtired.com

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  9. Thank you, and I like your name. That's how I feel most of the time "Lost and Tired"

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